Just A Little Rant..

Latley, I've been feeling so much hate towards the guy I recently dated. I've never been with someone who could make me feel bad about myself, like I wasn't good enough. He'd always talk to one of his exes. (Should have been as obvious to me as it really was.) The thing is.. I don't hate him. I hate the way he is when he was unsure of what he wanted for himself. Then comes to find out today that he actually cheated on me with her. I wanted to be his friend but once I found that out, was when I realized I was SO much better off.

My first lesson I learned was: DON'T let ANYONE make you feel like you're not good enough. That should be your first sign to leave. 

The second thing I learned was; not to hate the person. They are only human and make stupid mistakes. Sure I hate that he didn't have the decency to end things with me first but you know what? That's another thing that makes you better already.

Third thing I learned was; that I'm really happy I don't have close friends. I've had so many people talk crap about him and this girl to me. I'm just glad I give nobody anything bad to say about me.

Fourth thing I learned: is once you break away from that type of mind game/emotional relationship, you get dressed your best, and talk to everyone! I noticed how many people I actually knew and how many guys I could actually flirt with and they'd make me laugh and blush when I thought he was the only one that could do that.

I'm going to be a senior next year and he's one grade younger than me. Which helped me come to a fifth conclusion about boys. Don't date them younger if you feel like you want it to last a long time. Girls naturally mature quicker than boys. It's always been that way. They'll eventually realize that they didn't get to "experience" anything else, and they'll want something different.. 

But another thing I noticed was I was the one asking him to still be friends and HE said he needed time to think about his feelings. All I'm thinking is "Dude, you already made your mind up that you wanted to be with her and I'm willing to still be friends with you after you lied AND cheated on me?

That's a BIG HELL NO. If you feel like you're putting more into the relationship than the other person is, and if it doesn't change, it's probably not going to work out. You have to get what you give. You will find someone better who won't waste your time!!

The last step is: to NEVER give into taking that kind of crap. I took it THREE times.. This would make it a fourth. I knew so much better than that, and didn't listen to myself. Don't doubt yourself, you know how you feel. :)

OH and don't worry about the other girl. No matter if it hurts really bad.. he picked her and whatever happens to them, will happen. Don't beg for him back and don't hate her either. Maybe he'll get bored of her too. Can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Goes for guys and girls :p

Everything is always ok in the end. :)